Last week while driving home, the radio station had a speaker sharing the importance of positive supports and an article from Psychology Today. I thought makes good sense to me. Words of wisdom on the five types of people to dump from our lives. In my book FIND YOUR VOICE, I refer to them as; the self righteous and shaming, the members of moan groan society and pity parade, the what about me, no boundaries people, the either your against me or with me.
Think of the people, co-workers,family and friends in your life and ask yourself, ‘do anyone of them fit into these categories?’. IF yes, have a conversation with them about the issues, see if they can be willing to learn a better more positive lifeskill. Sometimes people are unaware of their negative and destructive behaviour patterns. If after the conversation they are unwilling to be supportive then time to make the decision. Keep your own boundaries and create a positive supportive network of people.
It really makes a difference having supportive people in your personal and professional life. I enjoy the positive folks from CAPS, Toastmasters, Breakfast Club, my partner, family and friends.
From the article in Psychology Today the description makes it clear the type of friends you don’t need.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201708/five-people-you-need-kick-out-your-lifeHere are five types of friends that you really don’t need.
“1. Mr./Ms. I-Told-You-So. Sometimes in an effort to be supportive, a friend will say “I told you so.” Of course, this isn’t helpful, nor supportive. It’s really more about your friend being right than it is about supporting you. If you have a friend who constantly does this: Drop them!
2. Debbie/Denny Downer. Of course your friends will get depressed, or be pessimistic—occasionally. However, you don’t need friends in your life who are always negative, especially when you are happy and optimistic—you know, the friend who always sees the drawbacks of everything. Choose friends who can give you an objective perspective, not those who always are drawn to the dark side.
3. It’s All About Me. Narcissists are simply not very supportive friends. They are self-focused, so can’t be relied on when you need support. Another type of all-about-me friend is the one who needs to take credit for everything, or who constantly needs to be propped up emotionally. All give and no take isn’t what you need in your life.
4. The Backstabber. There’s nothing worse than a two-faced friend—a person you confide in who then tells everyone your secret. Or, the person who tells you one thing, but tells others the opposite. Trust is a critical element of a good relationship, so if you know you can’t trust someone, you don’t need them in your life.
5. Mr./Ms. Pick-a-Side. A final type of relationship you don’t need is one where the other person requires you to be completely “on their side.” Their enemies have to be your enemies. You are either with them completely, or against them. Again, this is often the position of narcissistic or borderline individuals whose insecurity requires them to see relationships as all good or all bad.”