Often people struggle at this time of year to appear all ‘happy’
It is OKAY to not be ‘okay’ at Christmas.
Yet inside their feelings are less that joyous. We have to remember everyone has their own challenges during each day all year. Christmas is not an exception, people suffer, accidents, people die there is sadness and loss.
We never really know what is happening for someone else. Being happy may not be possible for many of us during the holidays. There are countless reasons and each is valid for the individual. Saying ‘just get over it’ is not helpful. I always encourage seeking professional help with counseling if needed and access to a crisis line as a safety plan.
For many reasons this time of year is depressing.
The sudden loss of a loved one, financial fears, workplace bullying, illness, isolation, loneliness. At Christmas those feelings can be intensified.
Personally, parts of this year sucked!! I lost several friends. Suicide, accidents and illness robbed us of these beautiful people. Until it happens to us, do we really understand the sense of loss and helplessness.
Why can’t I be happy at Christmas?
How do you get through the holidays if you are feeling ‘unjolly’? The most important thing is to be kind to yourself. Understand that it is okay to feel sad as you deal with different emotions and a new reality. For me I have planned something different to do each day. Fitness. Walking outside is chilly but good for the soul, or so I have been told and watching funny movies. It was important to set time limits on large gatherings and places where I would feel pressure to look happy. Learning to set boundaries is really important. Learning that you have the right to say ‘no’, equally empowering and helps with that stress.
For those dealing with depression, anxiety disorders and PTSD, like me, I have created a self care tool kit. During times of stress, feelings of ‘blue’ and sadness I look into my self-care tool-kit and use the tools to cope. Sometimes coping is in 15 minute intervals, at other times a few hours. Yet having these tools has helped during times of deep depression and anxiety. Yours would look different depending on what you like, your hobbies, interests and abilities. Ask yourself what can I do right at this moment that makes me feel good about me, feel strong even for a few minutes. Positive people, hanging out with the supportive folks who allow you to be you.
Trust in yourself to get through this difficult time, reach out to positive people who allow you to be sad and without judgements. You are on a journey and this just yours, and as friends here to hold your hand.
Focus on the little things in life. One minute at a time. Be patient and compassionate with yourself, and yes you can do it. Reach out and ask for help. Never give up on you. Create a safety plan and your own tool kit. Life is a gift.
