Do you ever feel that intense pressure to be the best’?
Plays havoc with our mental health!! To make the most money, sell the most books and have that world wide social media recognition with a million followers?
Well people do, sadly yes they do and when they fall short it can feel devastating and hopeless. At one point in my life I can remember being in those unhappy runners during the Icelandic Annual 10 Mile Road Race.
After months and months of training in the heat and humidity I felt ready to be the best and win in my age category. Winning seemed to be important that year. Looking around at the start line, there were all sorts of athletes in different stages of fitness, gender and variety of ages. A few had strollers with small children and a few runners had their dogs running along with them. Judging from the age category I was confident this was my year to ‘win’! As the race gun echoed in the morning heat to begin the race, I was so ready.
For the first few miles did not really pay attention to anyone running behind me. Honestly, most years I was near the back of the pack but this year decided to push into the front middle. Around mile 6 the sounds of voices were creeping up behind along the shadeless highway, hot pavement under our feet, that rhythmic pounding of runners inching ever closer.
Panic as I heard then saw these women slowly
gain speed and pass me. I had noticed them prior to the race, huddled up a the front and thought ‘they don’t look like runners’. It was beautiful learning experience for me as they jogged by offered a ‘good luck’, and a genuine good luck. After another half mile they stopped and walked fast for a minute then continued jogging. It seemed that the harder I tried to catch up the slower my running. The enjoyment of the run was slipping away replaced by a sinking feeling of despair. These runners were going to win, they were going to have a better time than me, after all the months of sweat training in horrible heat. It was an injustice or so I thought.
Suddenly as I approached mile 9, noticed my husband riding up beside me on his bike, big smile, cheering and proud of my accomplishment, “way to go sweetie”, “your best time”. The runners in front too far ahead at this point to even see as they turned that last corner to the finish line. Realizing that most of the race I had been fixated on being the best, trying to outdo someone else and not enjoying being my best. The heaviness seemed to lift, I had wings and smiling back at my husband, began to speed up that last mile.
As I crossed the finish line absolutely empty of energy,
nothing left in the tank, those four runner that had plagued my run were in fact cheering me on. Exhaustion and the humidity were brutal but they approached and said, “that’s the best run we ever did, with you chasing us we were so inspired to push ourselves, this our first 10 mile run.” We all hugged, it is these moments when we realize winning is not what defines you. It is knowing that you have given it all, tried your best to be your best that counts.
You are not alone.
I have come to accept that there will always be someone who has more money, bigger teeth, nicer house, travels more places, blessed with more children, published great books, better speaker, faster runner and that is okay.
I like to be the best authentic me.
Celebrating other folks, men and women and their successes in life. An empowered person gives a hand up not a push down, celebrates accomplishments and does not judge or condemn.
We do have a choice in life with our attitude. Try to be grateful and live your best life everyday. Make good mental health choices.