Do you pretend?
As children we do this for fun and use our imagination in play. However as adults it may not be as beneficial to pretend our life is ‘fine’. Do you pretend?
Pretend to be happy? Pretend to be content?
Pretend the relationship is great? Pretend to be okay?
Pretend to avoid conflicts and responsibility?
When we deny our own happiness, deny our voice, deny our wants and needs and carry on as if life is ‘fine’, then we are pretending. Over the years this becomes a pattern of pretending. Perhaps if you look around you can see people who are pretending to be happy, pretending everything is fine at home, work or in school. If we are truly honest with ourselves we will also look in the mirror and ask the same question.
‘Do I have a pattern of pretending?’ I will share my answer, yes. To be honest and to help others not have to suffer, I did at some point, pretend to be happy. During the years of being bullied in the workplace I tried to pretend everything was ‘fine’. In a relationship I tried to make it ‘better’ when the other person did not want to invest in a healthy relationship. Pretending is damaging to your mental and physical health. Yes, pretending wears you down slowly.
I can remember sitting at the table eating pizza and suddenly realized, ‘holy shit, I am acting a role in my own life!’ The moment of clarity and start of finding a way to break the pattern of pretending.
Today I love the journey of ups and downs, of happy and sad knowing the difference to being honest with myself and pretending. It is freeing to know and honour our own truth.
It took a few months before I realized the pattern. Not only was it revealing it was also releasing.
Revealing to be alive enough to be willing to want to change from the walking dead to feeling alive with my voice. Releasing to let go of the mindset of self sabotaging behaviors.
To be aware, to learn and grow, this is the journey of life I wish for everyone. To be in your truth. To be happy on your own terms. To seek out challenges for you and not to please another. To learn to honour and value your voice today and everyday.
This is how I changed the pattern of pretending. Being aware, accountable and then deciding how to change it and move forward embracing life.
It is your choice. Always your choice. Think about it and decide, it really is up to you.
Change the pattern of pretending to a pattern of self honoring and self value.
