Alone, depression and Christmas.
These are not often discussed or not enough, but many people suffer from the experience of depression and this can be intensified during Christmas.
Everyone has their own story
and you never really know what is happening in their life. We only see a snapshot of people not the whole story, the pain, loss, sadness, loneliness and trauma. These are the walking wounded. I have been one of the walking wounded
How do you deal with depression on your own at Christmas?
From my own experience with depression at Christmas it is important to have a safety plan. People you can all at anytime if you need to be safe, safe from your thoughts and safe from suicide. Having a doctor who understands depression and willing to listen to your needs. Sometimes we need medication to get us through the rough peaks and deep valley of depression. Depression is sneaky and sometimes we may not recognize the signs of deep depression and suddenly we are in that black pit of despair. Alone. Depression can feel like and roller coaster with ups and downs.
Its holiday celebrations?
It seems like only yesterday, and although it was a few years ago, I was in those dark footsteps suffering the physical and mental anguish of another miscarriage. There was no joy in setting up the tree, no joy in shopping, no joy in baking. Nothing could help lift that sadness. We all have our own stories. I asked for help and began to set up a safety plan, created self care tools such as writing and journalling, fitness and spending time with people who respected boundaries. Everyone will find their own ideas of what works for them. By dividing up the day I could slowly get into the spirit of the holidays. We do the things we need to cope.
Create a plan for the days you think or feel could be challenging.
For example if you are invited to a family/friends/workplace function and you are alone, plan on how long you want to visit. What about the negative comments? Think of a few key phrases for the folks who are predictably insensitive about mental health and depression. and who do not respect boundaries. We know of people who can say cruel comments mental health because they don’t understand and choose not to make the effort or often just scared to ask.
Divide your day or days up into segments, like hours or even a further breakdown of 15 minute sections. Do something different. Think of ways that fit with who you are and be mindful of your emotions. If you life Christmas movies be mindful if you sinking instead of feeling relaxed and at peace. Take a walk in the snow, let the snowflakes touch your skin and be marveled at the unique beauty.
If possible try to avoid places that trigger any type of anxiety
and make a plan on what you can do to get back to being centered. We can deal with depression and still manage our emotions the difference is being aware. It is having awareness on managing our emotions or they will manage us. It takes practice. Really be aware of what is happening inside. Think about how to make your space bright and pleasant.
Lots of lights, different colors, scented candles, downsize dinner so that you can enjoy a Christmas dinner if you are alone. Volunteering is really a mental health booster which some folks enjoy if they are alone. I like to visit a Seniors homes. Seeing the smiles on their faces is a really mental health recharge.
From my own experiences with depression at Christmas I had to divide the days up
and plan for any upset or emotional pain so that I could still be with people and not pretending everything was ‘fine’. Taking side step every now and then, a positive distraction certainly helped.
Continue to create your own self care tools and strategies.
If you know of someone who is dealing with depression and they are alone take a few minutes to call or visit. Ask what they may need and just listen.
If you are alone dealing with depression at Christmas,
you are not alone there are many of us in similar situations. The hope is to be pro-active, recognize triggers, set up a safety plan, divide the day up into sections and celebrate each one, seek out positive folks if possible and never give up on you.
