Why am I feeling depressed on Valentine’s Day?
There’s an age-old question. We have all been there at some point in our single lives. Watching our friends celebrate Valentine’s Day with romance, cards, chocolates, dinners, champagne, and other tokens of love. Yet we sit alone at home, feeling less then, because we don’t have anyone to share Valentine’s Day.
We can learn from our story and will admit, I was in that sad pity parade boat for many years. Thinking I was less than worthy, because I didn’t have anybody to share Valentine’s Day and other romantic events. This certainly leads to feelings depression. Totally wrong mindset!
Why do we make ourselves suffer? Self slamming!
Why do we allow social media, the world around us to influence how we value ourselves on Valentine’s Day? Think about it, do you do that? Ask yourself why? No one can define your worth except you.
You are a worthy person on January 1 and you are worthy person on February 14 nothing can change that except your attitude towards you.
From my perspective, ‘Romance is a state of mind’.
We don’t need a partner, or someone else to validate what romance is and how it is defined according to societal norms. Like who defines normal? Who defines a the perfect ‘normal’ romantic relationship?
A healthy, loving relationship is not defined by one day, February 14, it is every day. Not necessarily with chocolates, champagne, expensive dinners or gifts, but with a deep sense of understanding, emotional connection, attraction, love, encouragement, honesty, respect and sense of curiosity to name a few.
Valentine’s Day with or without a partner can be miserable or romantic.
Taking extra care for someone or yourself, self-nurturing, self-care looks and feels different for each of us. For many years as a single parent I would create a February 14 that was special. By making a new creation in the kitchen, decorating the table having candles, a nice music was a way of making February 14 unique and lovely. Yes I did buy some chocolate turtles.
Also, a powerful message for my daughter was demonstrating by example she does not need a partner to validate her sense of worth and the ability to create, if that is her choice, a fun Valentine’s Day.
Look around and ask yourself just because somebody gives me flowers on Valentine’s Day, takes me for dinner and buys me an expensive gift, is this a loving healthy relationship? Do public displays of affection on Valentine’s Day make my partner a great partner? Personally, I would rather be alone then wishing I was alone. There’s nothing more depressing than being in a relationship where you are not valued, honoured, respected and cherished every single day, not just Valentine’s Day.
If you are alone this Valentine’s Day and you want to do something fun, then decide to be creative for yourself or with your children and make it your own unique day. Learn to value the beauty of you.