Imposter Syndrome?  What is Imposter Syndrome?

Have you ever felt that you didn’t deserve the acknowledgement or recognition of your work/success?
Have you ever wanted to sign up for or attend an event but felt like you were not good enough? Or didn’t apply because you didn’t think you were worthy enough?

That’s called imposter syndrome. And 70% of people that means 7 in every 10 people have experienced or will experience imposter syndrome at some time in their life. Think about it that’s a lot of people who have self-doubts.

You are not alone and I think that’s comforting. Imposter Syndrome can stifle our personal and professional opportunities. They may even self-sabotage. It’s a false reality and media seems to feed into that negative mindset of self-doubt, self-criticism and self-shame. Yikes!

From the article in Psychology Today ‘Imposter Syndrome’:

People who struggle with imposter syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held.

A different cause of Imposter Syndrome is family experiences, education, self-esteem, belief systems.

Personality traits largely drive imposter syndrome: Those who experience it struggle with self-efficacy, perfectionism, and neuroticism.

Triggers?

Calling attention to one’s success, ironically, can unleash feelings of imposter syndrome. This could occur when receiving an award, passing an exam, or being promoted. Failure after a string of successes can also cause someone to critique and question their overall aptitude.

Let me tell you a story, I love stories. We can learn from each other’s stories.

Several years ago I was applying to be part of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers, CAPS.
It was an exciting time and I had several speaking engagements a previous couple of years talking about workplace bullying, sexual harassment, tools and strategies to survive and the impact on our mental health in the RCMP.
It was exciting and empowering to take the lessons not the pain and sharing with an audience. The feedback was really positive from those in attendance.  I filled out the application form on the computer and yet was capable, terrified of pressing ‘send’. Why?

That application sat on my desktop for several months. Every once in a while, took a look at it and felt brave enough to press send and yet somehow deep inside did not believe I was truly capable or worthy of being part of the professional association. So many fears and doubts!

From the article Canadian Medical Association, Healthcare Leadership in Action: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

They feel they are “fooling everyone” and worry that in time people will learn “the truth”. It doesn’t matter how high their grades are, how many certifications they’ve earned, how often they’re requested by patients or how many kudos they receive from superiors—they believe they are less intelligent and competent than others perceive them to be.

From my own personal journey, it was a struggle to change the mindset. Questions and doubts, fears about my ability, and could I really help anyone, were these experiences and lessons something that would be of value to anyone out there in the speakers’ world? Am I able to even help anyone? What happens if I suck? So many doubts, fears, confusion, insecurities, this is imposter syndrome.

During one conversation with my daughter, mentioned the application and why I had applied and the failure to proceed. I shared my resistance to press ‘send.’ I am forever thankful for her encouragement and kind words, “Mom, no one has more experience than you. The 20 years of abuse dealing with workplace bullying, sexual harassment, the courage and perseverance in speaking up. You deserve to be part of the professional speakers’ group. It’s time to press send.”

These words made a lot of sense and I had to acknowledge and recognize my own fears, doubts were just that, fears and doubts, not the reality of who I am. Thankfully I pressed send. Since then nothing has stopped me from getting out of my comfort zone. Being aware of those negative thoughts and feelings,  and dealing with them immediately before they take root. There is no falling backwards believing the ‘failure, not good enough’ thoughts, and into the imposter syndrome again! Over the years it’s been an incredible journey and my career as a motivational speaker/workplace consultant has grown into a wonderful way to help others believe in the power of their voice and learn to value who they are today and not judge themselves.  It has been an empowering opportunity to help others speak up about bullying and understand the value of creating tools for good self-care which includes positive self-talk. No matter what happens and with any rejections, there is always going to be another opportunity. The best part is I keep learning and improving along the way. Keep learning and never give up. Life is a journey.

We have to learn to stop listening to the negative chatterbox in our head, stop comparing ourselves to others, stop believing the negative attitudes that we are ‘not good enough, stop being paralyzed by our fears.

It is important to be aware of those inner conversations about our perceived flaws, abilities, fears and guilt. There is a difference between guilt and shame. Guilt – we did something bad and shame – we are bad. Allowing our fears to keep us from trying and believing in ourselves is not the best way to learn, to try, to move forward with confidence. The good news is we can learn by being curious, think to ourselves do these thoughts help or keep me stuck, asking for professional help if we are really stuck in imposter syndrome. Seek out positive people as support and share your thoughts. We can always learn and re-learn at any stage of life.

I may not be perfect, but I am perfectly happy.

We have to be aware of our negative chatterbox and replace these patterns of thinking, patterns of believing, patterns of behaving, to believe we are worthy, valued and ok.