Why do I keep repeating the same thing in my head, negative messages?
How do I change it?
Negative thinking can contribute to problems such as social anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem. The key to changing your negative thoughts is to understand how you think now (and the problems that result), then use strategies to change these thoughts or make them have less of an effect.
“Our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are all linked, so our thoughts impact how we feel and act. So, although we all have unhelpful thoughts from time to time, it’s important to know what to do when they appear so we don’t let them change the course of our day,” explains Rachel Goldman, PhD, a psychologist and clinical assistant professor at the NYU School of Medicine.
To create any type of change of thought patterns we first need to be aware. Be mindful of your full mind.
Mindfulness has its roots in meditation. It is the practice of detaching yourself from your thoughts and emotions and viewing them as an outside observer. Practicing mindfulness can help you become more conscious of your thoughts and build greater self-awareness.
None of us is perfect, we all have our baggage based on our family life, historical trauma, experiences, personality, religion, culture, or moral and ethical definitions that vary from each individual. It is so easy to slip down that negative thinking.
As children growing up we watch our role models and how we treat ourselves. We watch adults around us interact, and use language and this becomes imprinted as our future behaviour. Let’s face it none of us had perfect role models. But that does not mean we have to repeat the negative ones. Time to shift that negative mindset to one of more supportive, nurturing, forgiving and encouraging. We can do it. It takes practice and time.
Set yourself up for success.
Goldman suggests that if you find yourself thinking thoughts like “I am a failure”/”I am going to fail,” you shouldn’t replace it with something like “I know I am going to succeed.”
“You instead would want to replace it with something more neutral, which is also showing some self-compassion, like ‘I don’t know if I am going to be able to do it, but I am trying my best,'” she suggests.
Start today to try and catch those negative thoughts before they send the message to your body. Remember our body is listening. For example, imagine this morning you stubbed your toe on the way to the bathroom, then you see the tooth pasts lid is off again, add to this your toothbrush fell in the full garbage (yuck). What is your first thought? ‘What else is going to go wrong?’ bingo and the dye is cast for the day.
Instead, imagine the same scenario and switch the negative to one of self-care, curiosity and positive. Your stubbed toe (next time I have to navigate a little wider around the bed). The toothpaste lid is off (I have to be mindful to remember the lid to keep the toothpaste fresh). Your toothbrush is in the garbage. ( great I can get a new one, or maybe I have to move the garbage can away from the sink area, or well that too bad stuff happens).
Can you see the difference? You can feel the difference. Try this switching channels in your head, that inner voice we all listen to, our inner critic to one of compassion. You can do it.
CAMH Canadian Addictions and Mental Health article Coping with Stress and Anxiety gives positive suggestions on coping with anxiety and negative thinking. For example, dealing with the Covid pandemic, like yikes, was and is an ongoing negative experience.
It’s normal to feel concerned about what’s next and it’s important to continue using the strategies and tools you’ve relied on to support yourself and your family in this challenging time.
Here are some ideas that might be helpful. Some might apply to you and some might not – or they may need to be adapted to suit you personally, your personality, where and with whom you live, or your culture. Please be creative and experiment with these ideas and strategies.
Check out the other ideas that may fit with who you are. Be curious and creative.
Life is to be cherished no matter what is happening in our life yesterday, today and in our tomorrows. It is a choice in how we choose to react, respond and what we retain in each experience. Positive self-talk is most beneficial during our times of stress, sadness and trauma.
Never give up on trying a more positive spin in life. You will quickly see the rewards in your mind, body spirit and emotions all improve.
You can do it!!