Why do we keep making the same mistakes?
Why do I feel like I keep doing the same thing expecting a different result?
Sometimes we can feel as though we are on a hamster wheel, doing the same thing again and again and somehow expecting a different result. Confused and disappointed.
Sometimes we can feel as though we are on that same hamster wheel doing the same thing even though we are trying to try to change that pattern of behavior. It can feel like that as we are seeking to change all negative patterns of thinking and behaving to more positive empowering patterns. It takes practice to change that type of thinking. Patterns are easy and our body and mind take the easy way to get things done in life.
The idea is to be creative, in trying new positive inner messaging and in changing habits. With a variety of tools and strategies see what can work and what helps in this change. What works today may not work five years from now. The idea is to recognize what’s working now and what’s not, be willing to try something different, get out of your comfort zone again and try something new. Be patient on this journey, self shaming never is effective or empowering.
From the article “WHY DO YOU KEEP REPEATING THE SAME MISTAKE?
What do you keep tripping over? What is one major change that you would really like to do, but you keep failing at it?
Speaking from experience in changing negative thinking to more positive with different tools requires awareness and a willingness to see what’s working and what’s not in my own life. Being accountable. There was a time when I thought being nice was part of being accepted. The need to please to feel part of the group. This comes at a cost of your own wants needs and feelings. The downside of that pattern of thinking is that people abused and bullied me because I had no boundaries and did not understand setting boundaries is really important in any and all relationships, both personal and in the workplace. It was an eye-opener recognizing that I needed to have boundaries, allowed to have boundaries and having these boundaries did not make me a bad person. Yes there was resistance to the ‘new’ me, but it was worth it. I had to get used to this new thinking and behaving and reluctantly, so did family, friends, and co-workers.
Of course, there were times when I fell back into those old patterns. However, I was able to quickly recognize the backward slide and reframe the mindset without self-shaming or judgment. Self-compassion is part of the journey. Our brain gets lazy and likes to stick to the old ways we have been doing things and to change that mindset takes time and practice. Practice, practice and more patience until our brain has rewired in the new positive pattern.
This is important to learn to value who you are today and every day. Changing your thought patterns from that need to be liked by everyone, a people pleaser, to set up boundaries on behaviours with people that you will accept, and behaviours that you will not accept from your family, friends, intimate partners, and your workplace.
Ask yourself if there is something you are doing you want to change but are scared? Be honest. Awareness is the start. Have you ever watched your family, friends or co-workers making the same mistakes again and again? Did you ever ask them why? Usually, people say “I always do it that way’, or ‘I never noticed’ or ‘it’s too much trouble to do it differently’. All sorts of excuses. I know I used to make them too.
It takes awareness to first begin the slow transition from negative thinking to more positive thinking. Yes, it can feel like a struggle sometimes, one step forward two steps back. However the idea is to stick to it, never give up on trying to be the best, happiest most authentic you.
Remember we keep learning from the mistakes we’ve made, and sometimes it takes a while to change that pattern of thinking as we make those mistakes again and again. It doesn’t mean we’re dumb or stupid, it means we need more awareness and confidence in trusting that we can handle life as we emerge from the negative thinking/patterns to empowerment.
Like any habit, it takes time to develop which means it also takes time to change that habit. Hopefully, you don’t settle for what you’re doing in life if you recognize it’s not working. To me, the greatest tragedy is knowing I’m making poor decisions that affect my happiness health and empowerment because trying to change is too scary so I remain stuck. That’s a tragedy. No matter what’s happening in your life you have a choice in how you react, how you respond, and in what you retain. You also have a choice in your attitude. You also have a choice to take the lessons not the pain and create small changes on your journey to empowerment..
How to Upgrade Your Mindset To Succeed In Life
Your success and happiness depend on your mindset. What you think, you become.
Our mindset affects how we see the world. If yours is distorted, so will be the way you see yourself and others. Our beliefs and thoughts shape the way we behave, even if we don’t realize it.
The idea is to set yourself up for success. Look at it this way, babies were not born running and talking. It was in small ‘baby steps/little trial and errors‘, falling down again and again until you were able to hold your head up, sit up, begin to crawl eventually learning to run. The language was developed as you grew an ongoing process. It is the same way in changing you, small steps.
The bottom line is you cannot change anyone else, you cannot fix anyone else, and you cannot rescue anyone else from their own life. That’s their job. Just like it’s your job to take care of you, to recognize negative and poor patterns of thinking and behavior, to change them, do the work take the time, self-compassion, self-awareness on your journey to changing an unhealthy lifestyle, negative behaviours and thinking. It’s a choice. Remember you always have a choice.
You deserve to be happy and successful and free from the negative past.