How long do I have to suffer from PTSD? 

 

Will PTSD be a lifelong chain around my neck? 

Can I be happy after being diagnosed with PTSD?

What is PTSD, and how do we define this diagnosis? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety.

According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, “post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental illness. It often involves exposure to trauma from single events that involve death or the threat of death or serious injury. PTSD may also be linked to ongoing emotional trauma, such as abuse in a relationship.”

The FirstRespondersFirst website states “Being affected by these types of events is normal, however if the thoughts or memories of these events start to seriously affect the life of the person long after the event, that person could be experiencing PTSD.”

 

Workplace bullying and violence, domestic violence, childhood trauma, natural disasters, and criminal violence can result in PTSD. These are all important questions. Everyone who is dealing with depression and diagnosed with PTSD has these questions and concerns. Often it’s a sense of fear of what their life, our new life is going to look like. Questions about finding happiness?

I think it’s really important to know that we all have our own stories. And that means we can edit and change how our story ends. PTSD does not have to define your future happiness and success. That is totally up to you. The journey of living with dealing with navigating PTSD is as individual as a snowflake. What works for me may not work for you and that’s okay. The idea is to share our stories so that others don’t have to suffer and may in fact find their own tools and strategies that work for them as well. To me, that’s empowering sharing our stories taking the lessons not the pain so that others don’t have to suffer and perhaps learn and feel empowered on their own journey with PTSD. 

Coping skills and counselling with PTSD will look and feel different for everybody. 

Some of us need medication and therapy some of us need a lot of outside support. And that’s OK. It takes courage to ask for help it takes courage to get up every day living with PTSD. 

Trauma is an experience or event that has a tremendous negative impact on individuals. It can be something we have seen, experienced, and heard about that creates trauma. 

Along my journey, I have never used PTSD as an excuse for bad behaviour, or dysfunctional behaviour since I’ve been in therapy. There was a point in the beginning when I was filled with anger. Anger at those who abused and hurt me and self-loathing for not speaking up earlier.

 “Self-hatred is harder to unlearn than it is to learn.“ Glennon Doyle from the book Untamed. It began a self-discovering journey to empowerment. During those darkest times how I got through the despair was creating my own self-care tool kit, a positive attitude, and finding a therapist. 

Therapy has made me realize that I am totally responsible for everything I think, say, do, and how I respond to life events. Doesn’t mean it’s easy, doesn’t mean I don’t have triggers, nightmares, hyper vigilance for safety, no means I am responsible and accountable for my behaviour. That reality can suck sometimes. Sometimes you just want to tell, scream,  throw things, break stuff, blame everyone else, and everything, but you can’t be empowered in this mindset. This shame and blame are disempowering and in the end, you are still stuck in the emotional pain. I know because I was in those shoes. Time and more time as we discover and re-discover ourselves living with PTSD. Learning to set boundaries was the biggest takeaway that I value even to this very day. 

I will not stay, not ever again–in a room or conversation or relationship or institution that requires me to abandon myself. Glennon Doyle, Untamed 

It took time, self-awareness, self-compassion, self-forgiveness, self-accountability, self-encouragement, and self-empowerment. You see the only person who can change you, is you. I find that incredibly empowering and hopeful as I learn to live and grow with PTSD.

It’s a conscious decision every day to be aware of how to find happiness, inner peace, and success on my own terms as I live my life with PTSD. This journey will look and feel different for everyone because we are all beautiful and unique and our experiences are all different. Our coping skills, a sense of self-value, and self-worth are all different as well and what works for me may not work for you, and that’s OK. The ideas to keep the conversation going, be aware of your triggers, and if you need professional help seek out professional help. In many cases, people struggling with PTSD might need medication and that’s OK. 

I may have PTSD, PTSD does not have me! 

I make it a personal challenge every day to find something positive in moving forward. We can’t live in the past and try to move forward at the same time. We become off-balanced and stuck in our misery. We have to decide where we want to live, in the past with pain, fear, stuck and depression or move forward,  learn to let go, and create self-care tools for good physical and mental health, these are our coping skills when experiencing triggers that can be scary and paralyzing. 

There is no right or wrong way in recovering and living with PTSD, it is about choices and our willingness to seek outside support and willingness to be accountable.  There is no going back to the way we used to be. That person is gone. What has emerged from the ashes is a Phoenix, stronger and better. It’s important to remember that we are who we are from the events and people who challenge us, who hurt us and damaged us the most. The greatest parts of you are from that pain, in crest the courage, perseverance, the tenacity, the strength, and determination. PTSD.

Today I live with PTSD. Today with my career as a consultant/coach and motivational speaker for those dealing with workplace bullying and harassment it feels great to share the lessons learned, tools and strategies along the way. It is wonderful to see the workplace transform from unhealthy and toxic to a place where employees are happy to be part of the team. Anything is possible with awareness and effort. It is wonderful to be part of the journey with clients as they re-learn to value and trust who they are while navigating an unhealthy workplace.

In our new reality living with PTSD, it is a choice and how we view it, as a chain or wings. We have a choice every single day and how we react, how we respond, and what we retain. Personally, I choose to move forward to recognize my triggers and deal with them, to be accountable for my behaviour and feelings, to self-care whenever I need it, and to trust whatever happens in my life I will be OK as I live and move forward with PTSD. 

If I can do it, I know you can too. Life is a gift and you are worth it. 

With self-patience, tools and strategies, professional support, self-awareness and hope it is possible.