Can you learn to pivot in life and be ‘okay’?
Do you have a hard time when life changes your plans?
Why do I have such a hard time adjusting to changing plans?
As a workplace consultant/coach and motivational speaker, I am asked these questions a lot by people trying to find their way through life’s challenges. Understanding the power of change can be exciting. It depends on our attitude. We want to change our diet, and fitness routine for example and expect it to be immediately. Think about ‘Why We Resist Change‘
Our inertia works against us in achieving our goals
Surprisingly, inertia is an overlooked concept when it comes to understanding our inherent complex resistance to losing weight or beginning a new exercise routine. Inertia, or “a tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged,” is at the headwinds of any change that we make in our lives. It helps to describe why our bodies tend to act against us when we try to begin a new diet or an exercise routine. The concept of inertia and the psychological difficulties of changing our behavior were examined more than 40 years ago in a Psychology Today article on familiarity breeding comfort rather than contempt.
Changing our behaviour and adjusting to change.
There are so many things that happened to us each and every day that we have no control over.
Change can be scary for folks. Having to quickly shift can be really scary. We may not have the best coping skills and role models from our childhood in adapting. Often that can leave us frustrated, angry, feeling helpless, in some cases feeling hopeless. The idea is to recognize, to begin to become aware of how our attitude and our coping skills affect how we deal with life‘s unexpected challenges, and moments. To pivot from our path does not mean we are giving up, it means we are deciding that we have to change the direction in order to achieve a goal.
Now this ‘goal’ can be anything from changing plans for dinner, your weekend, holiday plans, relationships, school, and in our workplaces. There is nothing in life that is a guarantee. Events happen that can ripple into your life unexpectedly. For example, the recent war in Ukraine has a ripple effect around the globe, and in our own homes as we watch the horror unfold by the brutality of the Russian soldiers and Putin. The food shortage will be global, the gas crunch is global and we are all affected by that. This means we have to pivot from our current path in the way we spend our money, budget, how we travel, and where or when we travel. Life can become complicated. We can feel trapped, angry, and frustrated. This all makes sense to me, I’ve been in those frustrating shoes as someone makes a decision that forces me to change my plans. Actually, that really pisses me off. It is important to acknowledge your feelings but not let them take over. Manage your emotions in life or they will manage you. What you repress you eventually express in unhealthy patterns of behaviour and reactions.
However, I have learned to recognize when it’s in my best interest (safety/affordability/fun) to pivot from my current course of action and plans.
For example, pivoting from our plans looks like this, I was planning on going to Drumheller Alberta to see the dinosaur museum and enjoy tracking around excavation sites. You know the saying life is what happens when you make other plans. One thing we have absolutely no control over is the weather. If you are living in Canada you can see how much global warming and climate change is affecting our patterns of summer weather. Intense long-term rain storms, flooding, fires, wind storms, tornadoes, and other environmental events we cannot control.
Pivoting from the holiday plans in visiting Drumheller at first was disappointing until I realized that we wouldn’t have any fun being locked in our hotel and not being able to see or visit the sites due to the rain and dangerous slippery conditions on the paths.
I think our attitude plays a lot in how we feel and adjust to changing our plans.
A positive attitude is what gives you resilience in life. Also as a single mother, I learned how to adjust on the fly so many times with a small child, being alone, shift work, and other unforeseen events. Pivoting quickly changing plans although disappointing our reaction depends on our attitude.
If you focus so much of your energy on the event and not the journey then you’re going to miss out on a wonderful experience. If you choose to focus on the journey and accept the things you cannot change you will be surprised at how much fun and enjoyment you get out of life. Drumheller is not going anywhere. It will be there, like it’s always been for millions of years, to visit in two weeks.
If you can be aware of how your attitude affects and impacts your decisions then you will find life isn’t as stressful or disappointing as you think when you suddenly have to pivot from your path. You will be OK. Learn to trust yourself in handling all of life‘s adventures and misadventures. Learn how to trust yourself to handle all of life‘s ups and downs along the cobblestones of life.
Remember a positive attitude is what gives you resilience in life.
No matter where you go no matter what you do they will be events or people who will force you off your path, and you have to adjust. Again so much depends on your attitude and trusting that you will be OK.
I think the idea is to let go of fear. The fear of controlling things around us. And I’m sure each of us has had at some point a controlling/bullying experience with a partner, in the workplace, or at school.
Hopefully, we learn from those experiences. As there is no guarantee of it tomorrow I strongly encourage you to be aware of how you feel, and how your body reacts when life doesn’t go your way. Self-compassion is about being aware of your feelings, your thoughts, and how your body is reacting to all the stresses in life.
Like I said a positive attitude helps us navigate as we pivot and re-pivot in life.
Never give up on yourself or your dreams. They may not happen today trust yourself that you can make them happen along your journey. Be willing and be curious.