Childhood bullying can leave victims with lifelong deep emotional and physical scars.
I am sure that, at some point, each of us has had to deal with bullying during our lifetime. Some experienced more than others. The trauma is devastating. Bullying is a serious issue that can have long-lasting consequences, impacting not just childhood but also adulthood. The trauma caused by childhood bullying can persist well into adulthood, leading to depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. If you think about it, how we deal with life as adults is a result of childhood and the skills we obtained. However, if we had to deal with childhood bullying then we may never have had the chance to learn more effective coping skills, self-care tools, and strategies and recovered from the trauma. This is a lifelong trauma.
Our past has a direct impact on our future. Yes it does!
Studies have shown that children who are bullied are more likely to experience depression and anxiety as adults. The trauma of bullying can have a lasting impact on a person’s mental health, leading to a range of symptoms that may include low self-esteem, difficulty forming relationships and a lack of trust in others.
I remember the daily fear of being bullied just because my dad was the principal of the local high school. Other boys and girls suffered because they were poor, wore glasses, had braces, had many siblings, did not have a lunch, visible minority, had braces, wore glasses, the colour of their skin, was short/tall, skinny/fat, had trouble reading out loud, had big feet, were shy, did not drink or engage in drugs and sex, were focused on school not partying and a variety of reasons. It was the dehumanizing of the ‘other’, for any reason. I repeat for any reason a bully targets a victim. The silence of bystanders gave the bully all their power. I was bullied by boys and girls.
Bullying changes our brains. One reason that childhood bullying can be so damaging is that it can cause changes to the developing brain. Often parents may not have the coping skill and communication skills to help their child navigate. From my observation, too many school boards are useless in addressing bullying and so there are more victims. The bully grows up thinking their behaviour is how things get done in the adult world, therefore continuing bullying. The victims get no support and as a result, suffer as adults. Children who are bullied may experience chronic stress, which can lead to changes in the brain’s structure and function. This can result in a heightened sensitivity to stress and a decreased ability to regulate emotions, making it harder to cope with challenges in adulthood.
As adults depression anxiety and suicide are common for victims of childhood bullying. Sometimes the trauma is so intense and humiliating that they never feel safe to share with their loving partners. Keeping that violence a secret keeps us in the past, in terrible pain and stuck. Very sad place to live.
Another reason that bullying can be so damaging is that it can erode a person’s sense of self-worth. Victims blame themselves and without professional help repeat negative destructive behaviours. It took a long time before I realized how childhood bullying had an impact on my adult life. You see working in the RCMP, a professionally respected organization, I had no idea that adults could be just as bullying and yet in many ways more dangerous. Imagine going to work where everyone carries a gun. A bully becomes a dangerous person if the leadership does nothing to stop it.
Children who suffer from bullying may feel like they are not good enough, that they are somehow to blame for the bullying, or that they are fundamentally flawed in some way. These negative beliefs can persist into adulthood, leading to feelings of shame, guilt and inadequacy. No one likes to say they suffered from it and yet it is currently a global epidemic. Schools, workplaces, public spaces, our homes and in governments.
In addition to depression and anxiety, childhood bullying can also contribute to the development of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a condition that can develop after a person experiences or witnesses a traumatic event, such as bullying. Symptoms of PTSD may include flashbacks, nightmares, and avoidance of anything that reminds the person of the trauma. Workplace bullying nearly destroyed me. I got sick, couldn’t sleep, had poor concentration, was hyper-vigilant, anxious, depressed, 5 miscarriages, developed Celiac Disease, and at one point suicidal. Yes, bullying destroys victims and ripples into all relationships. The mental torment and the fear do not stop at the parking lot.
There is good news. It’s important to note that not all individuals who experience childhood bullying will go on to develop mental health issues. However, the risk is higher for those who were bullied repeatedly, for a prolonged period, or who experienced other forms of abuse or trauma. It’s also worth noting that bullying can have different effects on different people, depending on their individual characteristics, coping skills and support systems. Because we are all unique our reactions to bullying and its long-term impact will be different.
Therapy helps. Professional help certainly can break that cycle of negative thinking. If you or someone you know has experienced childhood bullying and is struggling with mental health issues as an adult, there are resources available to help. Therapy can be a helpful tool for processing trauma and building resilience. Support groups and peer networks can also provide a sense of connection and validation for those who have experienced bullying. Additionally, it’s important to prioritize self-care and self-compassion, practicing activities that bring joy and relaxation.
Finally, childhood bullying can have a lasting impact on mental health, leading to depression, anxiety, and other issues in adulthood. It’s important to raise awareness of the damage caused by bullying and to work toward prevention and intervention. By prioritizing empathy, compassion and kindness, we can create a safer and more supportive world for everyone.
Never give up. Do not let your past define your success and happiness today and in your tomorrow. Everyone deserves to feel safe at home, school, in public spaces and in the workplace. So, if you see something, say something. Only together can we end bullying and all its ugly forms.
Resources available:
- National Bullying Prevention Center: https://www.pacer.org/bullying/
- StopBullying.gov: https://www.stopbullying.gov/
- The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
- Kids Help Phone: https://kidshelpphone.ca/
- PrevNet: https://www.prevnet.ca/
- Canadian Red Cross Respect Education: https://www.redcross.ca/programs/respect-education
- BullyingCanada: https://www.bullyingcanada.ca/
- The Canadian Safe School Network: https://canadiansafeschools.com/