Embracing Happiness: A Journey of Self-Care and Resilience
For me, happiness once meant stealing fleeting moments of peace amid years of workplace bullying. In those difficult times, self-care became my lifeline—a set of tools and strategies that helped me navigate stress, trauma, fear, and depression. Happiness should never come at the expense of someone else’s well-being; bullies and abusers often seek their own happiness through harmful means, but true happiness stems from within, nurtured by self-awareness and positive actions. Finding inner peace is priceless.
Life throws unexpected challenges our way—illness, loss, and other uncontrollable events—that can disrupt our pursuit of happiness. Amidst these trials, the internal dialogue we maintain plays a crucial role. Are we feeding ourselves negativity, or are we fostering positivity and resilience? It’s never too late to shift from self-criticism to self-empowerment, from a negative mindset to a positive outlook.
Remember, setting boundaries is not selfish—it’s self-respect. Learning to say “NO” is a powerful tool in safeguarding your happiness. I can remember deciding that NO was what I wanted to say when asked about doing a job and I admit, it was scary at first. They looked at me in stunned silence like I had two heads. My pulse was racing my eyes large and scared at their response. Calmly I repeated ‘No, I cannot commit to that…’ . No does not need an explanation. As a woman felt this was a powerful moment in dealing with the bully. Remember society places unfair limits on women/mothers/ those who identify as female to be nice, agreeable, polite and giving. Wrong wrong!! It’s about choosing what aligns with your values and what brings you peace, whether at home, work, or online. Setting boundaries may initially cause friction, but it’s essential for personal growth and well-being. Next to empowerment, boundaries are my favourite words!
In my journey, maintaining boundaries has been pivotal. It’s empowered me to prioritize my mental health and happiness, despite pushback from those accustomed to my old behaviors. Embracing discomfort is often a sign of growth—it means we’re evolving and becoming truer to ourselves. Any time you are changing a pattern of behaviour or thinking there will be pushback and resistance. Give yourself the grace to find your own way of setting boundaries.
Self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all; it’s about discovering what activities recharge your emotional and physical batteries. Whether it’s fitness, reading, baking, or something entirely different, build a self-care toolkit that reflects your unique preferences and brings you joy.
Start by acknowledging your strengths and passions. Set yourself up for success. List ten things you appreciate about yourself and ten activities you love, then commit to doing them. Surround yourself with positive people, and positive affirmations—sticky notes that remind you of your worth and potential. Cultivate a habit of nurturing your inner dialogue with kindness and encouragement. The journey towards happiness begins with self-acceptance and self-love. In recognizing how our past (childhood) has impacted our today. The coping tools we use as children and young adults may not work in the adult world of today. For example, when a child is dealing with intense emotions they may yell, hit, manipulate, cheat, lie and throw things, but as adults that is not effective.
Life is a precious gift, and your mental well-being hinges on your ability to create your own happiness. Never underestimate the power of your choices and actions in shaping your happiness. You deserve to live a life filled with joy, purpose, and fulfillment—don’t give up on yourself.
