If I had two minutes to spend with you…
I would want to share the lessons learned on the journey from workplace bullying, conflict, and abuse to a place of empowerment and happiness. Empowering women for their today’s and empowering girls for their tomorrows in recognizing the value and power of our voice.
From what I’ve observed and experienced personally in my life, some folks believe that they have to stay in lousy relationships. A bully at home wants you to feel worthless, a bully wants to keep up under their thumb and silent, a bully wants to destroy your dreams because they have none, a bully wants to keep you doubting. Self-doubt keeps you stuck, it’s important for you to trust in yourself, and that you can make your life happy and successful. A bully at home, in the schoolyard, corporate office, and workplace are all the same, bullies, with the same intent to hurt, control, humiliate, and abuse. Why put up with that crap?
Everyone has their life lens, map of reality,
which are our childhood experiences, coping skills, our own moral and ethical beliefs system, culture, and religious practices? These all make us who we are today. It’s important to remember the coping skills of our childhood may not be as effective as adults. For example if you used to lie or be economical with the truth as a child to get out of trouble, that no longer works as an adult in the grown-up world. If you avoided conflict at all costs as a child, that is not as effective as an adult.
It’s important to understand our patterns of behavior,
our patterns of coping, our patterns of communicating. If it is a pattern then we can change it to better, healthier, and effective patterns. For example, If you were bullied as a child, there’s a likelihood you will experience being bullied as an adult. As children we may not have had the opportunity to create effective means of speaking up and standing up to bullying. However as adults we can change those patterns to empowerment. It is important to re-build our self-esteem, learn effective communication skills, the right coping skills tools and strategies for good self-care, and in speaking up. The good news it is never too late to start.
Happiness and success looks and feels different for everyone
because we are all unique.
We are responsible for our actions and thoughts but not the experiences of others.
To be in a relationship where your voice is ignored is a tragedy.
Do not allow someone else to take charge of your decisions, to control you by controlling the money… you deserve to be heard and valued at home and in the workplace. Everyone deserves to be and feel empowered.
Take action in your life and avoid distractions from others. I thought Prince Charming was going to rescue me from being a single mother, the bullying workplace, and life. Thankfully he never showed up. It was a long time of wasted time, settling for unhealthy relationships thinking that was what I deserved. No one can rescue you from your life except you. Getting rescued comes at a cost. If we rescue ourselves and solve our problems, then we are less likely to settle for shit-head partners.
If you learned anything in these two minutes, remember never to give up the power of your voice. The only person who can rescue you from your life is you. Yes, you are worth it!