Life is a gift!
How often do you hear the conversation that starts with ‘Thankful I didn’t kill myself?’ Not very often and not enough. Talking about suicide and depression is a party killer! Yet I ask why? People need to feel comfortable with this type of conversation and sharing.
Having been depressed and PTSD sharing these lessons is important so that others may not have to suffer. Years of workplace bullying and harassment has taken its toll but does not have to define my life and happiness. Living life takes effort, sometimes professional help and medication, self-care tools and a positive attitude. A daily job.
A few weeks ago I was visiting our daughters in BC. We were staying at a very nice downtown hotel in Vancouver. The breakfast was included and we sat outside on the balcony enjoying social distancing and a unique presentation of breakfast selection. Muffins and, fruit, cereal all in individual containers(no touching).
An enormous effort was made to ensure the least amount of contact with the food.
The morning weather was warm and no breeze. Walking along the railing was a huge Seagull, carefree and watching for any scraps of food dropped by a careless guest.
I noticed the quiet, which is unusual for downtown, that normally is noisy but today with the low volume of traffic almost silent.
It was the quietest Monday business workday morning I had ever experienced in downtown Vancouver.
The clear blue sky dotted with a few fluffy shaped clouds made the moment breathtaking.
My husband went to get the phone because the view is so beautiful, I wanted to take a picture of the buildings, and skyline. As he was gone for several minutes, glanced around at the spectacular view
Tall buildings, skyscrapers, a combination of condos and businesses with glass windows reflecting the brilliance of the sun, not much traffic but the City was beginning to wake up.
Soon a faint hint of the bustling in the streets, people crisscrossing avoiding any physical contact, an electric bus zooming along with few passengers sitting the 6 feet apart.
That same gull prancing along the railing showing no fear of falling off. Maintaining a watchful eye of the children casually eating their breakfast.
The sun, glimmering and distorted reflection of the skyline and the glass-covered buildings changed as the clouds blanketed parts of the city.
It felt comfortable and at the same time out of the ‘normal’. Since March and we have been living under the Covid fear, Social distancing, isolation, daily life is one of disorder
No longer normal. Visiting Vancouver was no longer normal in the way we travelled and how to interact in the street, stores, hotels (masks are mandatory) and restaurants.
This disorder has an impact on our mental health.
Disorder. Made me think about the disorder and can we be happy during the ‘disorderly time of Covid?’ And suddenly I was overwhelmed with joy.
As a matter of fact to be honest I was so overwhelmed I burst into tears. Looking around at the skyscrapers, hearing the sounds, the smells of the city, the feelings of being alive at this moment, this beautiful moment was incredibly powerful. And the best part was knowing I was alive.
It’s a privilege to have life, to live life. For those dealing with mental health, stress, depression it’s really important to reach out for positive supports and help, Your life is truly a gift.
Having these conversations about mental health, PTSD and suicide is part of empowering those who are struggling. A smiling face does not mean all is well. Be curious about yourself, family and friends.
People do what they need to do to survive. To find a place of being thankful for life, to me that is a wonderful gift. Every day, finding ways to be thankful has been part of my journey.
Sharing the lessons on dealing with mental health and suicidal thoughts opens doors, can create positive understanding and dialogue for seeking healthy informed support.
Personally, looking back I am thankful for that sober second thought and having the conversation with my therapist, family, following my doctor’s advice, going on medication and developing better-coping skills in life.
Today I am overwhelmingly thankful to be alive. To have the opportunity to experience joy.
“It’s good to be just plain happy; it’s a little better to know that you’re happy; but to understand that you’re happy and to know why and how…and still be happy, be happy in the being and knowing, well that is beyond happiness, that is bliss.” Henry Miller
As we process the Covid crisis, try to move forward each day, it’s important to be mindful of our mental health, reassure children, and know that this may be a new reality. Covid crisis has had an impact on each of us, everyone had a life-shifting new reality. Everyone is dealing with this new change in life in their way and trying to cope. It is important to talk about these feelings of the unknown, fears and disappointments. Life is all about pivots, and dealing with Covid requires our willingness to accept we might have to pivot from our old normal. You are not alone.
From the article by the Center for Addiction and Mental Health:
Findings from a new survey by Toronto’s Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) indicate the pandemic has had a significant impact on the mental health of Canadians.
“What’s unique about this pandemic is it affects everyone,” says Samantha Wells, senior director of the Institute for Mental Health Policy Research at CAMH.
“It’s pervasive and everyone is being affected in some way, shape or form.”
The study sampled more than 2,000 Canadians — about half in early May and the other half in late May — and asked a series of questions to determine the effects of the pandemic on mental health. It was a collaboration between CAMH and Delvinia, a global research technology company.
The online survey included English-speaking Canadians aged 18 and older, reflecting the distribution of the Canadian population in terms of age, gender and region. (The survey has a comparable margin of error of plus-or-minus 3.1 percentage points, 19 times out of 20.)
It found that 20 per cent of Canadians surveyed say they have been experiencing loneliness during the pandemic. One in five also reported feeling moderate to severe levels of anxiety, due to factors such as job loss and fear of contracting the virus.
Stacy Ann Buchanan, a Toronto actress, filmmaker and mental health advocate, has experienced the study’s findings first-hand. She has struggled with anxiety most of her life, and knows how difficult it can be to deal with.”
Remember that’s OK. It is okay not to be okay. It’s OK to be frustrated and worried about the future. Acknowledge your feelings and be aware of how you feel. You are not alone.
Trust that you can handle it, trust you can find ways to be happy and positive while at the same time being safe. Create self-care tools that fit with who you are and makes you feel good. Adopt some form of fitness like walks, medication, journaling, self-compassion and kindness all may help you. Seek out professional help if needed.
Buchanan says the feelings brought on by the stress and isolation of the pandemic in recent weeks triggered a spike in her anxiety. “It’s feeling overwhelmed and also feeling like I’m not being productive,” says Buchanan. “And realizing, OK, this is not just happening to me, this is collective.”
Having a conversation is a start, being mindful of what feelings are becoming overwhelming is part of taking care of our mental health.
Of those saying they were feeling depressed, the numbers were slightly higher among younger people between the ages of 18 and 39, and those with children under the age of 18 at home.
Those variables remained at essentially the same level among respondents throughout the entire survey period, and researchers stress that this data alone indicates Canadians are continuing to feel serious mental health effects as a result of this pandemic.
“Canadians are experiencing a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety,” says Wells. “They may have lost their job due to the pandemic, they may be caring for children at home while also balancing work responsibilities, and they’re socially isolated right now.”
The article has a video that has other suggestions for coping with the COVID crisis. Although ‘a new reality’ is different, we can adjust, pivot and find happiness, to find that JOY in life. Remember you are not alone!
