Navigating Intense Emotions and Emotional Dysregulation
It’s crucial to share our stories about the challenges we’ve faced and how we’ve overcome them to find happiness and inner peace. For me, living with PTSD from 20 years of workplace bullying and violence in the RCMP has been a journey. Life isn’t perfect, and yes, I have triggers. But over the years, I’ve built effective coping skills and self-care tools that help me navigate stressful memories.
We’re all unique, and so are our responses to trauma, triggers, loss, and illness. What works for one person might not work for another—and that’s okay. As someone who’s neurodiverse with adult attention deficit disorder (AADD), I’ve learned to understand how my brain works and how to regulate my emotions when I’m struggling with intense feelings. It can feel like a tornado in your mind, with thoughts swirling and colliding, often leaving us paralyzed.
Yoga has been a powerful addition to my self-care toolkit in recent years. It directly benefits my physical and mental health. Learning to breathe, regulate intense emotions, and calm my mind has been a transformative experience. It’s something that works for me.
We can’t change the past, but we can learn from it and move forward. The scars from workplace bullying run deep. The betrayal by colleagues, management, and the organization itself has left a lasting impact. But I’ve learned to focus on what I can control, what I can’t control, and what I might be able to influence. One key realization is that I can’t change others, especially the bullies. What I can control is my attitude. Cultivating a positive mindset builds resilience—it doesn’t mean we avoid suffering or loss; it means we can bounce back more quickly.
Everyone faces their own struggles, and we only ever see a small part of those challenges. That’s why it’s so important to approach both ourselves and others with kindness and curiosity. Are you your own best friend, or your own worst critic?
Recently, I attended a yoga retreat, reconnecting with old friends and meeting new people. The atmosphere was warm and welcoming, with discussions about our intentions, mental state, and the benefits of yoga. The women there were beautiful souls—committed to creating safe emotional spaces and living their best lives. I respect that deeply, understanding the challenges life brings.
Self-discovery begins with self-awareness and self-acceptance—understanding how we think and how we let our emotions take the wheel. We all experience moments when intense emotions derail us, making it hard to focus and regulate our feelings. Dysregulation can send us into a spiral. I had an experience like that at the retreat, where despite being surrounded by good people, I felt alone. It was important to validate the feelings. From the article: Validation: Defusing Intense Emotions we can better understand why this is important in our relationships with others and for our own experiences. I realized that my brain was overstimulated, and it sent a clear message: “We can’t have a conversation right now.” My mind was telling my body to step back. Although I felt disconnected, I was still observing, listening, and smiling. Sometimes that’s all we need—to give ourselves the grace to sit back and take in the moment. Recognize what you can give and accept what you can’t.
As someone living with PTSD and AADD, I understand the value of being a “fly on the wall,” just watching and listening. It’s fascinating how I can spot others who may be struggling and try to include them. If we’re always talking, demanding attention, we miss out on incredible ideas and conversations.
As you navigate your intense emotions, remember to practice self-compassion, mindfulness, and curiosity. Develop your own self-care tools and embrace your unique communication style. There’s nothing wrong with sitting quietly, listening with intention, and allowing space for others to share.
Life is a gift, and so are you. Happiness and success are personal, and sharing our experiences—whether about trauma, being neurodiverse, or managing emotional dysregulation—helps us better understand ourselves. We can always learn from each other. Everyone has a story, and that story can be edited and reshaped. Make yours a bestseller!