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Why do people practice bullying?

July 3, 2023

Why do people bully?

Why do bullies think it is okay to bullying? To abuse their co-workers?   

There is a bullying epidemic that is worldwide affecting all places of business, schools, and workspaces. in our homes and in public spaces. It is a mess dealing with bullying, a mess, and very destructive to victims and also to businesses.  Bullying is a serious problem that affects millions of people around the world. Whether it’s physical, verbal, or cyberbullying, the impact of bullying can be devastating and long-lasting. It can cause emotional pain, lead to depression and anxiety, and even contribute to homicide and suicide in extreme cases. Understanding why people bully is crucial in order to prevent and stop this behavior. The idea is to be curious about other people and what might be happening to them based on their own Map of Reality (where we come from, live, family life, coping skills, education, life experiences, personality, culture, religious practices, moral and ethical compasses)
  1. Insecurity and low self-esteem: One of the main reasons why people bully is that they are feeling insecure and have low self-esteem. They may use bullying as a way to make themselves feel better about themselves and to try to assert their dominance over others. This can give them a temporary sense of power and control, which can be addictive.
  2. A need for attention: Some people bully to get attention. They may feel neglected or unimportant in their personal life, and they use bullying as a way to get noticed. They crave attention and will do anything to get it, even if it means hurting others.
  3. A lack of empathy: Some people bully because they lack empathy, which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. They may not realize the impact of their actions on the person they are bullying, and they may feel indifferent to their suffering.
  4. Imitation of bad behavior: In some cases, people bully because they have seen others do it and believe it’s acceptable behavior. They may have learned to bully from friends, family members, or even media and pop culture.
  5. A need for control: Some people bully to exert control over others. They may feel powerless in their own life, and bullying gives them a sense of control and power over someone else.
  6. A traumatic background: People who have experienced trauma, such as abuse, neglect, or a traumatic event, may turn to bullying as a way to cope with their pain. They may use bullying as a way to regain control and to feel powerful, even if it means hurting others.

You can be the best worker and still be suffering from bullyng. Assholes are never bullied it is the good dedicated, kind, compassionate, efficient workers who are targets. Bullies are also rewarded for their success and the bullying is merely excused or dismissed away.

Every workplace has its own culture and this reflects in how leadership addresses bullying. Finally, bullying is a complex behavior that can stem from a variety of causes. Being curious about others can help with understanding why people bully is an important step in preventing and stopping this harmful behavior. From the article the Psychology of Bullying.

Bullies And Unresolved Past Trauma

At first glance, perpetrators may seem powerful, dominant, and in control. After closer examination, there are many cases in which bullies have unresolved trauma from their pasts.

When personal issues aren’t dealt with in the appropriate manner, they do not go away, regardless of how badly people want them to. In many cases, they lay in wait, beneath the surface, getting worse and worse.

Eventually, unresolved trauma can no longer be contained and begins to manifest in ugly ways. Bullying others is one of many horrific ways in which unresolved trauma can manifest.

 

If you have ever read, and I strongly encourage you to do so, read a book by Dr. Gabor Mate.  He points out that our behavior today has a link with the trauma of our past. Think about it! Makes sense. Not dealing with our past greatly impacts how we do things and interact with others today. Our survival behaviors at 6 years old are not effective as adults. We need to be aware of our behaviors in order to change. Hurt people hurt people. A well-adjusted happy person who feels confident and secure in their own skin and life will not bully.

By addressing the root causes of bullying, we can help to create a safer and more compassionate society for everyone. The bottom line,  no one deserves to be mistreated and abused in the workplace or any place. Speaking up is part of the change we need to make, so we can create a healthy happy workplace.  Most importantly you do not have to put up with abusive comments, humiliation, violence, and other forms of bullying.

Remember a bully counts on victims and bystanders to remain silent. I say be loud, be proud and speak up about ending bullying!

From the Blog

Boundaries First: A Guide to Healthy Work Relationships

The Art of Boundaries: Recognizing Bullying, Creating Space and Knowing When to Speak Up In the … Read More

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