The power of kindness!
The power of kindness can ripple around the world, across oceans and borders and break all barriers.
Traveling gives us an opportunity to meet new people, both young and old from all places in society, with different personalities and life experiences. I call this our individual MAP of reality.
Recently we are heading to Cuba. On the plane, we meet a lovely couple heading to Cuba and the conversation was engaging. Although our hotels may have been different our mutual hope was to have fun and enjoy the sun. We shared what we did and where we worked. As an advocate to address bullying in all its forms, as a teacher she was interestest in my work, a retired RCMP officer with experience in workplace bullying and harassment, mental health, training, and leadership, and how I created Star Agassi Consulting helping others deal with similar issues), offered my business card. From my experience, you never know who might need some help navigating bullying and there is no workplace that is immune to workplace bullying and harassment. All professions have these very serious problems.
This year my partner and I were meeting family, it was indeed a fun time something we had never done before.
During the week, going back and forth from the beach, the two pools, the buffet, the snack bar, and the pool bar I met all sorts of travelers. While sitting under the umbrella by the pool enjoyed reading and people-watching. I don’t know about you but I just love to watch people in a public setting and wonder what might be happening in their life. Being curious was part of my work as a police officer and in my current work as a consultant/trainer. Asking questions helps in building bridges of compassion and understanding. I glanced around and noticed two elderly women dancing to ABBA’s Dancing Queen. Like who would not want to jump up and dance to ABBA! One of the women sat down and I noticed that no one else in their group was dancing. Feeling the ABBA beat jumped up and walked over and asked if she wanted to keep dancing. She jumped up and we danced to a couple of tunes including THE VILLIAGE PEOPLE song YMCA. It was an awesome experience. Turns out she and her husband are from Ontario and live in a retirement community. Sixteen of them flew down for two weeks. It was indeed a pleasure dancing and talking to them. I noticed most people are friendly and patient as tourists, however, there is always one or two who can really cause some stress and hurt feelings.
One morning I got up and went down from our room to get coffee and upon entering the elevator smiled and said ‘good morning’ and there were three other people, a couple and another occupant. I was smiling and one of the women look cranky and refused to respond so I repeated my pleasant cheer in case they may not have heard. Again she glared and gave a curt response in French. I smiled again and repeated my cheerful ‘bonjour’. You see my initial feeling was irritation, I know you understand but don’t want to speak English then I that same instant shifted to one of curiosity. Thinking why is she so angry at my hello? Is there something that is happening in her life that I am not aware and it is upsetting?
Once the elevator stopped and they all got out I said in French, ‘have a good day’. Later during the week, I would eventually bump into them at various places in the hotel and by the pools. Again I would acknowledge her in French.
Matching rudeness with rudeness only adds to the negative part of life. Shifting to kindness takes awareness, self-reflection (we all have our triggers and trigger responses) and patience. It is not our job to take on other people’s negative behaviour, we can still be kind with boundaries. Again the is a difference between being kind and being a doormat or punching bag. It is within setting our boundaries.
While having a weeklong vacation in sunny warm Cuba, this winter, I began to realize the true meaning and value in the importance of kindness, even when we may be triggered to anger or frustration by people’s behavior.
