Because they are assholes? In some cases, yes,
mostly because they think they can, no one speaks up for the victims, and often the behaviour gets ‘excused away’.
Sexual harassment is never ok! Women and those who identify as females have every right to feel safe and work in a harassment-free workplace. From my experience perpetrators often truly believe they have the right to behave a certain way because no one saying anything and often it continues to be an excused way as just a joke, no one else seems to mind, the victims are too sensitive. This, of course, is wrong. No one has the right to abuse another person. No one has the right to push you up against the wall at a Detachment Christmas party and force a kiss, while dozens of co-workers simply remain silent or laugh.
What defines sexual harassment?
Sexual harassment, gender-based harassment is unwanted sexual advances such as invading personal space, staring, spreading rumours of a sexual nature, suggestive or offensive remarks, humiliating derogatory sexual name-calling, requiring employees to dress a certain way, bragging about their sexual prowess, propositions about physical intimacy, refusing to take no for an answer on dating, sexual jokes displaying sexual images, inappropriate touching to name a few. It could be a variety of one or many behaviours where the victim is targeted. It is an isolating and lonely place.
Remember the Hollywood Titan of industry Harvey Weinstein, Once women began to speak up there was and is nothing that could ever silence them. The world changed with the #METOO movement
Why do some men think they have the right to sexually harass women? The behaviour is part of the work culture because no one says anything and there are no enforced serious consequences. In-person or online, sexual harassment is devastating.
The article on sexual harassment in the Ubisoft gaming industry reveals how sexual harassment has become a commonplace, a daily occurrence. Once is an accident, twice is a coincidence and three times is a pattern of behaviour.
“Montreal-based designer Tanya X. Short has been in the gaming industry for over a decade. She remembers what it was like starting out in a company as one of the few women in the room.
“I had internalized so many things as completely normal. But it took me many years to realize that there were uncomfortable assumptions being made; that I was subconsciously altering my behaviour,” said Short.
Accord to a 2019 study from the Entertainment Software Association of Canada, the gaming industry contributes $4.5 billion to Canada’s GDP annually. But as lucrative as the business is, in the past few weeks an ugly side to the industry has emerged with a wave of women sharing stories of harassment and mistreatment”
Sexual-harassment can start as a joke and easily explained away, to bumping into somebody, again explained away “oh it’s just a joke”. “You are too sensitive”.
Sexual-harassment, similar to domestic violence escalates if nobody does anything. If management fails to respond, fails to hold the perpetrator accountable, fails to enforce consequences for that behaviour, then the violence continues.
Why women are afraid to speak up about sexual harassment?
It is especially challenging for victims to speak up about sexual-harassment when the perpetrator is a great performer, is well known, is in a position if power, superstar, perceived power position, bring in lots of money or clients for the organization. Like who is going to believe the victim?
Sexual harassment can become a daily occurrence, normalized. Victims are damned if they do in speaking up suffering from reprisals and ruined careers and damned if they don’t, suffering from continued emotional and physical trauma.
From my own experience working in the RCMP, it takes great courage to stand up, to speak up and challenge the status quo attitude and workplace culture where sexual harassment is accepted and condoned the behaviour.
#MeToo has Pulled back the veil of silence victims have suffered over the years with sexual harassment and sexual violence in the workplace. People are speaking up, perpetrators are being held accountable. The world of today has no place for those who truly believe they have the right to sexually harass co-workers and employees.
How do we end sexual harassment in the workplace? Leadership must be the role model for a respectful workplace. Do not accept any of that type of behaviour. Training, education and a willingness to enforce respectful workplace policies is part of the cultural shift for the gaming community and any workplace. No workplace is immune from experiencing bullying and sexual harassment.
Take the complaints seriously! Most importantly support the victim. Understanding the importance of addressing the sexual harassment complaints immediately and respectfully. Providing opportunities with further education for the perpetrators on what defines a respectful workplace, the language to be used and setting boundaries and identifying attitudes that will be accepted and not accepted.
It’s important to keep these conversations going because of sexual harassment, bullying in the workplace have not gone away. Sexual harassment shatters the victim’s sense of trust and safety in the workplace. The positive side is people are speaking up about sexual harassment and violence in the workplace. Change can only occur when we stop pretending it is not happening in our workplace.
Speaking from experience in dealing with sexual harassment in the workplace, it started with simple jokes. Eventually, the jokes became more sexually degrading and the name-calling became sexually humiliating. Although it was only two of the officers in the detachment, the other officers said nothing (I never heard or saw anyone defend me) and therefore the violence continued. I wrote about the experience of sexual harassment, the internal struggle of the decision to speak up or remain quiet, the consequences for both, the failure of management, and the silence of bystanders in my book Women and Not Wanted.
20 years in the RCMP dealing with sexual harassment and bullying.
Eventually, the name-calling the unwelcome physical contact like any violence it escalated. The failure of leadership resulted in alienation, and reprisals by the two officers.
I can understand completely the confusion victims experience and the complexity of finding the courage in confrontation.
The emotional impact of sexual harassment ripples into all aspects of the victim’s life and certainly the work performance. How can you focus on your work if you are constantly worried about getting grabbed by the boss, worried about opening your email and texts, or the humiliating comments by co-workers as you pass their office?
How to cope with sexual harassment.
Again from my own experiences, I tried to avoid engaging in degrading conversations. I would leave the workspace and return within a few minutes. I tried and not always possible to not be alone with them or share any personal information. Documenting the events as part of ‘therapy’ and good mental health and also eventually used as evidence in filing grievances. The RCMP failed miserably as we have observed the hundreds of millions of dollars in the many class-action lawsuits for sexual harassment, bullying and racism. It was beneficial and emotionally healthy in finding supports within the workplace and at home. I created a self-care tool kit that helped me feel good, happy and empowered.
It takes courage to deal with sexual harassment in the workplace and it takes even more courage to speak up. Together with having these difficult conversations, education, accountability we can create positive change for all workplaces and end sexual harassment in the workplace.
Doing nothing saying nothing then nothing changes. Do you want to be part of the change? Speak for yourself and those who remain silent.
